WWE SMACKDOWN MARCH 5TH REVIEW: MID-CARD HELL.

WWE SmackDown – March 5th 2015.

Verizon Centre: Washington, DC

Ben Carass.

 

Here’s what you need to know about this week’s SmackDown: Bray Wyatt cut a promo with the urn and said he would bring it to Raw on Monday and a bunch of mid-carders are still squabbling over the IC title. That’s pretty much it. Oh, and they still haven’t figured it out yet and Roman Reigns cut another insipid promo.

 

 

Like last week, the show was built around the IC title being passed around like Pitbull 2’s gimmick bag in the ECW locker-room in 1996. Dolph Ziggler came out with the belt to open the show and he teased that Daniel Bryan was going to come out and enter the ladder match. Bad News Barrett showed up instead and demanded his strap back; Luke Harper attacked Ziggler from behind and Dean Ambrose ran down to make the save. While all 4 guys were brawling on the floor, painfully unfunny funny man, R-Truth snuck in and stole the title. Ziggler & Ambrose got the better of the brawl and watched Truth leave with the championship. Later, Truth tried to give the belt to Renee Young; that way he wouldn’t have to climb a ladder, because he’s scared of heights you see. He was also on commentary again for the main event, which was Ziggler & Ambrose vs. Harper & Barrett, and said he wanted to keep the belt because if he had it there would be no need to climb the ladder. – See the logic hole here? Anyway, Ziggler & Ambrose won in 6:20 (TV Time) when Ziggler pinned Harper with the Zig-zag. Post-match, Barrett laid out Ziggler and went after Truth to get the belt, however Ambrose attacked him and Truth tried to walk-out. Harper stopped him from leaving and Truth faked giving him the belt and kicked him instead. Daniel Bryan came out and Truth just handed over the belt and disappeared. Bryan chanted, “YES” but Stardust, yes Stardust, laid him out from behind and climbed a ladder on the stage to celebrate with the gold. – This whole thing is complete idiocy. It’s dumb enough that all these guys are fighting over a prop and never actually declare that they want to be the actual champion, but Truth’s goofy comedy shtick makes the whole thing come off like a total prelim program, which I suppose it is, really. Daniel Bryan running around with all the mid-card geeks is making him feel less of a star and having Stardust lay him out only took him down even further. Everyone looked like an idiot here.

 

As I noted earlier, Bray Wyatt cut another pre-tape on the Undertaker with the urn and told the Deadman to “Rise.”

 

Roman Reigns was interviewed in the back by Byron Saxton. He said he knew he was going to get hurt at WrestleMania but would get back up and cut Lesnar in half with the spear to win the WWE title. There was more awful verbiage that Reigns failed to deliver with any kind of passion or believability. – This is not going to end well at all.

 

Everything Else: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro w/Natalya beat Los Matadores w/El Torito in 2:48 of a nothing, non-title match. Finish saw Nattie pull Torito off the apron, which distracted one of the Matadors and Cesaro got the pin. Kidd & Nattie were all happy again, so the bipolar Creative goons still can’t figure out what to do with them. I say just turn Nattie full-blown heel and be done with it. Big Show & Kane argued with each other backstage and both entered the Andre Battle Royal. Kane then lost a DUD of a match to Ryback in 3:30. Just to make things even less smooth, Kane sandbagged Ryback a couple of times. Fine work, Glen. Kane grabbed the mic and booked Ryback in another match right away against Big Show, which Show won in 2:44 with the KO punch. So instead of waiting until Raw to do the 50/50 booking they just established parity right away and made Ryback look like a real chump. The Bellas cut a terrible in-ring promo about carrying the Diva’s division; they both try hard but cannot deliver believable lines to save their lives. They gave AJ vs. Brie 7:38 and shockingly, nobody cared at all. Finish saw Paige stop Nikki from interfering and AJ won with the Black Widow. Match was fine, but by NXT women’s standards it wasn’t even in the same universe. It’s going to take more than just putting on longer matches with cold women in a sub-zero division to give the girls any sort of chance. New Day downed Miz & Mizdow in 3:29. Nobody cared, apart from shocked Undertaker Guy, who was in the front row and embarrassed himself even more than last year by dancing along with the New Day. Miz & Mizdow teased more tension; I suspect the split will happen at Mania. Rusev tapped-out Jack Swagger at 4:23 (TV Time) of a match I never need to see again. Curtis Axel appeared on the Tron and did his best, worst Hulk Hogan impersonation promo, complete with “brothers” and “dudes”. Axel wanted a US title shot at WrestleMania and said he would beat Rusev on Raw to get one. Cameron, Eva Marie & Summer Rae were involved in a ghastly pre-tape; they bickered about wanting a chance. Progression for women’s wrestling this most certainly was not.

 

Avoid this show like the Plague, unless you want to be afflicted by the Black Death that is the WWE’s mid-card.

 

Last week’s SmackDown review.

 

Last week’s Newsletter.

 

 

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