RAW Ramblings – June 22nd 2015.
Bankers Life Fieldhouse: Indianapolis, IN.
With Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn in Florida for Tough Enough, Triple H was running the ship this week; of course, I’m sure Stephanie had more than her fair share of input too. So with the old man and his chief lieutenant out of the picture, the successor to the throne had a chance to show everyone what kind of TV production he could run on his own. Unfortunately for HHH, he oversaw one of the most boring and pointless shows of the year. Virtually all of the wrestling was mind-numbingly tedious and other than the main event angle with Brock Lesnar being laid out by the Authority, yes you read that right, and a promo exchange between Kevin Owens & John Cena, every segment on this show was pure uninteresting drivel.
Story of the show was Seth Rollins trying to get Kane and J&J back on his side because he is scared of Brock Lesnar. Heyman & Brock opened the show; Paul didn’t really get the chance to cut one of his epic promos because they were more concerned with showing a bunch of B-roll footage recapping why Lensar was suspended. Heyman said Brock had to apologise for attacking Michael Cole or he would not get his title shot at BattleGround. Brock went over to the announce table and intimidated Cole, but he jovially grabbed Cole in a headlock and gave him a nuggie then patted him on the head. Cole said, “We’re good” and that was pretty much the entire opening segment. It was completely stupid; why would you have your killer babyface monster apologise to the annoying announcer that everyone hates? We got a bunch of skits of Rollins trying to convince Kane & J&J to help him fight Lesnar, which culminated in HHH & Steph telling Rollins to go apologise in public. Main event segment saw Rollins kiss Kane and J&J’s asses then Brock showed up to kill them all; Kane and J&J teased walking out on Rollins, but it was a swerve! Brock tossed Rollins around with a few suplexes then Kane jumped him from behind and gave him a chokeslam. Brock fought back and suplexed Kane, but Mercury got involved and the heels beat down Lesnar 3-on-1. They wrapped his leg around the post and smashed it with a chair then Rollins finished Brock off with a pedigree. – It’s a rare thing for someone to get heat on Lesnar and lay him out completely, however it didn’t nearly feel like a big enough deal. Plus, how is getting the heat on Kane & Joey frigging Mercury supposed to help anyone? It has taken them exactly one week after Brock came back to start booking him like just any other geek on the roster. If you’re wondering what happened to Jamie Noble, well he reportedly suffered broken ribs when Lensar threw him into the barricade and was treated by the doctors while the beatdown was taking place in the ring.
John Cena came out at the top of the third hour for his usual spiel; he called Kevin Owens a great wrestler but a “garbage” human being and a “dirtbag.” ZING! Owens showed up and said that he had been called many things: “Out of shape”, a “slob” then told Cena that the “out of shape, slob dirtbag” beat him at Elimination Chamber and laid him out at Money in the Bank. Owens said he wanted to take the US title because of how much it meant to Cena then spoke some words in French. Cena retorted in French then in Mandarin just because and told him he would kick his ass at BattleGround. – The segment wasn’t anything special, but it was two guys who are supremely confident on the mic going back and forth. And compared to all the other tripe on this show, this was pretty damn good.
Insipid Nonsense: Kane pinned Dean Ambrose at 11:20 of an ungodly boring match after a distraction from Seth Rollins. The Prime Time Players downed the Ascension in a 4 minute nothing non-title match; New Day watched on in the back and Big E was eating celery for some reason. Get this: Roman Reigns & Sheamus wrestled for 17 unexciting minutes then Bray Wyatt appeared on the screen and was having a tea party! Reigns, like a complete idiot, thought Bray had his daughter and ran to the back; there was no decision rendered after we all invested that much time in watching the match. Reigns found a room where Wyatt could be heard singing “I’m a little teapot” but he was nowhere to be seen. On the walls were a bunch of pictures of Reigns with the words, “Anyone but you” painted in what I assume was meant to be blood. THIS ABSOLUTELY SUCKED!
Neville beat Kofi Kingston with the Red Arrow in 4:25; Xavier Woods was the highlight of the match, shouting: “I’m gonna call Gravity, Neville!” King Barrett over Zack Ryder in 3:25; R-Truth did an inset promo and rambled about being the real king. Ugh. The Bellas beat Naomi & Tamina in 3:45 when Nikki pinned Naomi. The Bellas infuriatingly worked as faces and shockingly, no one cared. Ryback downed Mark Henry in 6:25; lucky 3 minutes of which was during the commercial break. Big Show was on commentary and cheered on Henry. Ryback won with an ugly splash off the top then afterwards Show and Henry yelled at each other. Ryback did an interview in the back and Show attacked him, however Ryback got the better of it and left Show lying. Dolph Ziggler w/Lana over Adam Rose w/Rosa in 3:05. Rose said he had a “master plan” or something then kissed Rosa. Ziggler won with a superkick then kissed Lana. Rusev was watching in the back and threw a fit and fell over; Summer Rae appeared and handed him his crutches and told him Lana wasn’t worth it. If they put Rusev with Summer they have completely lost the plot.
Jeez, I thought the show was bad just watching it but after writing all that stuff down it was even worse. Because RAW was so terrible, here’s a little treat from sleaze laden SPWC (Saitama Pro Wrestling Company). An epic battle between A LADDER & A TABLE, which was more exciting and a better spectacle than any of the matches on RAW this week.